Remember when …. Egoli … no seriously Egoli!!

Last night Kennith and I went for dinner at a local haunt.

We were chatting as we do.  I have no idea how this subject started but someone said something like, remember that guy from Egoli.

And then we sat trying to remember the guy’s name.  I think we were trying the recall the guys name who owned WALCO.

I initially said “John Edwards!” because I personally know a John Edwards, but then I remembered it was a “Chris Edwards!”

Well, from there the balance of the evening and most of this morning was spent trying to recall Egoli characters.  I have no idea why, just because that is what you do.

It was not like either Kennith or I were that into Egoli.

I used to watch it back in 1990 – 1994 and then I got a real job and did not watch it.  I really have not seen it in eons. I don’t even think it is running anymore.

We are not those closet ‘serial watchers’ who say we do not watch day time soapies, but really do behind closed doors.

Really I do not watch soapies.  I barely watch any television at all.  I watch Crime Investigation channel when Kennith lets me hold the remote, but that is pretty much it.

I love that feeling of when you have to sit and think of something or remember something.

You can actually feel the hamster in your head wake up, sniff around, get out of his straw bed, drink a sip of water and then get onto the treadmill and start running.

I adore trying to remember something, and Kennith and I often have competitions of who can recall something the quickest (yes this is where your relationship will be if your survive + 17 years.)

Kennith thought he would stump me: “If you can recall the dog’s name, then that will be impressive!”

Remember how they were always screaming out the door at the dog because he “blaffed” (Afrikaans for barked) or that the guy had to feed the dog, or take the dog for a walk.

The dog’s name was probably said about 30 times per show.

Dude I got the dog’s name. I was going to say “Dude I nailed that dog!” but then I realised all the negative connotations that would bring, so I opted out.

Anyway I continued to remember a whole stream of characters names (it totally dilutes the “fun” to google it in any way.)

The dog:  Chester (Ridgeback come Boerboel sort.  It was big and brown)

The guy who always fed the dog: Bertie

The guy who always fed the dog, who he always referred to in conversation, but who never was there: Pietie as in “Pietie said:……”

The guy who owned the the dog’s sister: Nora

The guy who owned the dog’s sister’s sister: Louwna (who appears to be come with the CEO position at WALCO.)

Chris Edwards children: Steven and Jane Edwards

Nora’s children: Bienkie and Nik Naudé.  I cannot recall the sister’s name who was the PA at WALCO and who always wore colour co-ordinated skirt-and-jacket-sets-usually-in-a-shade-of-blue-to-match-her-shoes.

The guy who originally started WALCO: Walt Vorster

The guy who originally started WALCO’s sons: Andre and Johan (I think).  One was the good one, one was the bad one.  My money is on André being the good one, Johan being the bad one.

If I recall the show started with Nik Naudé opening a jewellery shop and Tannie Nené’s daughter worked there as a jewellery designer.  The link to WALCO was that she secretly was pregnant with Johan’s child.  (you can alwmost here the duda-dud-dah music?)

The building everyone lived in: Marlboro Mansions

Where did Nora live: Brixton

I was totally stumped last night and could not recall the guy who was that stupid bloke in a black shirt and jeans, who was married to Candy.  The guy who appeared to be as thick as a plank, and spoke with an accent that made you want to pick up a 2 x 4 and smack him in the forehead with it.   They called their baby Britney (as in Spears) which was pretty typical of them, but his name escaped me.

I did eventually figure out it was Joe.  It took me ages, but I loved that moment as the name popped in to my head.

The guy who went from a PE instructor to a CEO of WALCO but who did not marry Louwna: Tim (he eventually called himself Tim Vorster, and I think was the love child of Walt’s sister and someone or another… that was Tim’s claim to fame.  Well that and the rather inexperienced dentist he used to cap his teeth.)

So that is the game I played in my head yesterday and much of today.

The common thread in this show:

Everyone in that show either lived with Tannie Nora or in Marlboro Mansions.

If you were CEO of WALCO you had to marry Louwna at least once.

If you were a PE Teacher with teach slightly too big for your mouth, there was a good chance you got to be CEO, and maybe sleep with Louwna, just once.

All the really big jobs – came with really big desks – three brown files to scatter on your desk so you looked busy – you also got a hat rack to hang your jacket on – so you could put it on to show you really had to leave quickly to go somewhere.

There was never a computer on your desk unless you were a PA.

PA’s loved to print stuff out, knock on your door, then stand an hold it while they told you something totally unrelated to the paper they were holding.

Everyone always asked if Chris was in.  If I was a PA and people kept asking me if my boss was in, I would seriously stab someone in the eye.

The Edwards even though they were super rich – and spoke about wings in their house – always appeared to operate from 2 rooms – sitting room and the library.  And all the guests at their lavish parties always came from Marlboro Mansions.

Being a PA was pretty good as odds are you were going to marry the CEO (I think that is how Louwna got started with Walt) or you were going to be promoted to VP of something.

In closing …..

I am totally blank to remember the Nora’s daughter’s name.  The PA girl.  I had Karin, but that was Steven’s wife, who was also the gay guys sister (and they both worked at WALCO at some point, being Head of something)

I realise it is a bit sad, but I thought I would share it with you, and then you can let me know Nora’s daughter’s name.  And thus put me out of my miseries.

Also the woman who went from a PA to the Head of Marketing or what ever.  The only black woman in the show.  She also lived in Marlboro Mansions.

But I thought I was smoking hot when I remembered the dog’s name … Chester …. I am rocking!

<spot Joan Collins in the Egoli picture — bet you forgot she was in it for a while>

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