I saw this video footage yesterday on Facebook.
If you haven’t it will move across your feed on Facebook in the not too distant future. It’s pretty much all over the show right now.
It has also been published on You Tube and I am supplying the link below so you can go and view the footage if you like. My issue is that this “situation” has turned into a “Black mom vs White dad in Spur | HUGE FIGHT #HumanRightsDay” –— many of the comments start off sort of okay.
Soon the comment thread turns into a litany of racial slurs and it pretty much goes pear shaped from there on in.
I may be really naive, and I might not understand what is happening in this video, but I am not looking at it and seeing a racial interaction.
I am seeing two adults, who appear to be parents, behaving in the worst possible versions of themselves in front of their children.
I am not 100% sure who belongs to whom – the guy in the blue shirt appears to have a female partner, who is trying to calm him down without wanting to get in his way, and she has a young daughter who is being pulled backwards and forward behind the male person.
This little girl is being taught that when someone hurts her on the playground, then daddy is going to go in without any sense of restraint.
Daddy (I am assuming he is the daddy person) is further teaching her that not only is it acceptable and encouraged, but to scream and swear at someone who has upset you — but if you can show an attempt at wanting to hit that person — and then add a smirk, then that is even better.
Dad guy, what the fuck do you think you are teaching your girl child here??
Double points if you give the impression (again I am not sure of what he is capable of doing, or whether this is done for effect) that you can throw furniture around.
Daddy person is screaming, showing excessive level of violence, no self control, and is teaching his daughter it is quite okay for a grown man to attack another grown person, in this case a woman. If Dad person can throw in a little smirk to indicate he really gives zero fucks, that is just Benoni enough for everyone.
The Woman/Mother is not innocent in this exchange.
She is sitting at the head of the table, furthest away from the Daddy person.
Seems a safe place to be — Daddy person clearly has been working out on “arm day” and seems to have double upped on what ever medication that makes you really get totally fucked off whilst at a Spur.
Mother person is not going to sit there and take shit from Daddy person. No, fuck that, she spurs this situation (see what I did there?) on and it escalates.
I wish to remind you if you do not see it, but there are SIX FUCKING CHILDREN BETWEEN HER MOUTH AND THIS GUYS FISTS.
As you watch the video you notice two of the kids dive over the furniture to move to another seat with a bit more space between them and the ranting Father person. The other four children just sit there in stunned silence.
This is the part where I totally lose my shit.
Daddy person is an arsehole with some impulse control problems. I have also been at a Spur where some kid was attempting to beat the shit out of my child.
Unfortunately the Spur assistants/helpers cannot lay a hand on any child, because that will set off the Apocalypse.
I have also felt the urge to go over and beat the child and the parent who did not monitor their child senseless.
This is my Spur story —- no violence unfortunately, but an overriding urging to say the F word, but I didn’t — I was in the kids play area and going off my face at a delusional mother seemed the less ideal place and time.
- I have often felt the over riding urge to slap parents at the Spur upside the head — however I have realised that there is no way this situation will end well, and the best thing to do is if you feel you have some restraint is to go over and mention it to the mom/dad calmly —- but in the three occasions I have done this, I have never had a calm response.
- In the one incident this child was climbing on the half wall in the play area, she was a fairly solid 5 year old girl. The Spur Assistant probably said to her a dozen times “please do not climb on the wall” – but this little girl gave zero fucks and was jumping off the wall only the bouncy castle. And with her bulk, the bounce would bounce everyone else who did not weight in at 60 kilograms right off the castle. In my case Georgia who was just over two years old.
- I asked the little girl to stop doing in — I swear to you it was in the nicest voice I had. This little girl ignored me totally and climbed back on the wall, to redo the exercise. Again this is after me already going to peel Georgia off the glass – which was where she had been bounced to and put her back on the bouncy castle.
- So here was little girl again — doing the same thing, that the Spur Play Assistant had repeatedly asked her not to, and I was now into my second or third explanation that she was not allowed to jump from the wall, and explaining to her – again really nicely — that she was going to hurt the other children.
- She just got ready to launch herself again.
- Her parents are sitting at a table right next to the play area, right next to the glass, so they can see their liebchen launch herself off the wall.
- I put my hand on her ankle — I just put my hand on her ankle — I did not squeeze it or hurt her —- though I did feel an overwhelming urge to push her backwards so she would fall on her stupid head off that fucking wall. But I resisted — I looked around like I was looking for her parents, but no one was coming. I rested my hand on her ankle and said again “please climb off this wall, you are not allowed to jump off this wall.”
- She looked at me rather sulkily, climbed off the wall and left the play area.
- I thought, great, that was handled quite well. The Spur Assistant smiled a thank you and I continued to watch Georgia not be thrown against the glass.
- Then the mom came in with her crying child. The mom was accusing me of hurting her child and scratching her and causing her an injury. The mom was going off her face. The child of course was now crying along, because the more she cried the more upset the mom got at me.
- You know when you think you are being “punked” and you stand there with a bit of a smile, then you realise actually you aren’t.
- I tried to explain to this mom who was basically accusing me of child abuse that I did not hurt her daughter, I put my hand on her ankle as SHE WAS TRYING TO JUMP OFF THE FUCKING WALL ONTO THE BOUNCY CASTLE which is where children who did not weight 60kgs were playing.
- The mom however did not see this as being a problem.
- Somehow my resting my hand on this child’s foot, because her fucking ears weren’t working and I thought if she could just listen to me and stop doing the jumping then we could all be lekker.
- She also did not recognise that her daughter had been told more than a dozen times not to jump off the wall.
- The mom was not going to calm down — I seriously stood there and tried to calm her down, but she was already into the “I can see no reason here because you abused by child…”
- So, the reason you have heard this story, is because I do not touch someone else’s child.
- I however do lean in and talk to them in a menacing voice that scares the living shit out of them. I feel fuck all — if it stops a kid who is repeating a behaviour, that may cause my child harm or another child, and parents who do not manage their children, then I am happy to step up and give them a little whisper.
This video footage is being painted as a racist incident.
This is a bad parenting incident and both parties behaved badly.
The Mommy person for me is actually the biggest problem — she is responsible for 6 children. I am not sure if they are all hers. It does not matter, they are with her and she is responsible for them.
She is escalating a situation between herself and a man person, who is clearly strong and angry enough to do some damage. She continues to escalate the situation and remains on the far end of the table with 6 children between her and the aggressor.
Listen, if you feel you have to get involved in a fight, or want to take on someone at the Spur or where ever you hang out. Totally up to you.
When you are doing it with six children in the way between you and a clearly escalating situation, then you clearly, clearly have lost the fucking plot, and you have shown yourself to be lacking. In every possible way.
The Man Person is an arsehole.
I appreciate he is unhappy because his daughter has been hit or assaulted in the play area. If you have been to a Spur Play Area, you will realise this is a common occurrence. It is not pleasant or right, but it happens. There are loads of children playing. There is generally no parent supervision and the Spur Play Assistant has very clear rules that she cannot physically touch a child.
The Man Person should have gone over to the Woman Person and said “May I talk to you for a moment please?” and then pointed out the problem, and a suggestion of how to resolve the situation.
The Woman Person when feeling attacked by the Man Person should not have got her shit on and seen how she can escalate this — she has 6 children in her care.
6 children watching this.
6 children at risk to an injury by a demented guy who is being pushed and pushed, and looks like he could flip a fucking Spur Table over with just a bit of motivation.
If Woman Person wants to get into a rumble, then she needs to leave the table, and move this situation away from these children. Stop to get someone to oversee the kids whilst she takes this “rumble in the fucking suburbs” outside.
But no — she remains behind 6 children and continues to turn this from a minor fracas to a total shit storm
Both adults handled this badly.
I feel both he and she should be banned from Spurs. I do not think he is more wrong than her, I think they both acted irresponsibility. And no doubt feel they are both in the right.
I have seen people comment about how it is Spur’s fault and they should have got involved. Please can we stop doing this – disolving the guilty party of guilt and assigning it to someone else. Spur is not to blame here — these two people in this video are to blame.
Individually. And together.
The rest of the cast are guilt free —- let’s keep the blame where it belongs.
Let’s also not turn this into a racist thing — sure there were racist slurs thrown, it can be expected. But this was not a black/white thing.
This was bad parenting. Bad adulting. And bad conflict resolution.
I really hope that somewhere in this there is a neutral party who can discuss and unpack what there children have witnessed.
I think that is where I am naive, I think these children will just absorb this into their psyche and think it is okay for grown ass adults to physically fight with each other, call each other names and basically behave badly —-