This is a perfect illustration of exactly how I feel some days.
Fortunately I have not had a day like this in some time, and I am so damn grateful.
Not sure where this image is from, so I can’t credit it to it’s source.
All posts for the month May, 2013
Just how I feel …
Posted by reluctantmom on May 31, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/31/just-how-i-feel/
We do sort of lose the plot with Instagram ….
I have not paid the additional fee to be able to upload videos. It is not about the money, I am just too shit scared to make any switches incase I lose my entire blog.
This parady on Instagram is set to Nickelback is hysterically funny — I laughed like a drain today.
Oh good times.
Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn-dD-QKYN4
Posted by reluctantmom on May 30, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/30/we-do-sort-of-lose-the-plot-with-instagram/
Please bow when addressing me ….
I really seldom to “questions to the public” as I like to figure out things for myself, but here is one that I am a bit perplexed by.
Me: phone rings …. hello Celeste speaking ….
Person: Hello, this is Pastor Bill …..
Me: Err …. hi Bill, how are you …
Person: Fine thank you ….
And then he continues to chat. Further on he referred to himself as Pastor Bill again.
Would it be fair to say “Listen Pastor Bill, I’d like a do over you can’t call me Celeste any more …. I think Mrs or Her Serene Highness is going to work better.”
Of course I am not. Because giving yourself a title, unless you are Darth Vader makes you sound like a fucktard!! And why can he not just be Bill.
This by the way, is not a religious rant – I have the same issue when I am dealing with people who call themselves Mr or Mrs.
Why would someone introduce themselves with a title? Please bear in mind he is not my Pastor. Can you give yourself a title — and when is it considered correct to refer to yourself by an external title?
I often speak to people who refer to themselves as Mr or Mrs and this is in response to me introducing myself by my first name.
I gauge from their voices that I am probably older than they are.
So my question is why would you ever refer to yourself with a title, unless you need to address a letter to yourself and then why the hell would you choose to?
The social etiquette around this makes me giddy with excitement.
Seriously who actually refers to themselves with a title, and for what reason?
Posted by reluctantmom on May 30, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/30/please-bow-when-addressing-me/
Volunteering at Ubuntu House ….
I have had “must volunteer at Ubuntu House” sitting on my sh*t do to list for years. Not figuratively years, but literal years. I think since 2010 if I recall correctly.
I keep printing out the forms, looking for my best inky pen, filling them in.
Then promptly losing them on my desk, and getting side tracked with life.
I phone Ubuntu House again, they send the forms, again, and I would promptly repeat the process.
But not this year. This year, this month I have my stuff together.
Saturday I am attending their “Volunteer Course” which I assume will include information about which side of the baby to keep upright. How to clean poo bums. How to cuddle a baby that is struggling with human interaction, and hopefully how not to get too attached so you do not try to sneak a baby out of the center all snuggled up against you.
I think they have a rule about that.
Excited. Lots.
Apprehensive. A bit.
Want to support Ubuntu House? You can, visit their page and see what they need.
Posted by reluctantmom on May 29, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/29/volunteering-at-ubuntu-house/
Since we lost Pluto … we really need another planet …
Introducing Planet Hiltron — I am sure it is about deep and meaningful things as well, but I like the images that are “if celebrities were just normal people…”
What makes it even funnier, is that whilst you are chuckling and coughing your tea on to your screen you are going: “That’s exactly how they would look.”
Enjoy. And yes, I know, its a pleasure.
Madge and Lourdy
Jennifer L
Kardashians
Kim and Kanye …
Brad and Angelina
Britney Spears
If you are sensitive, please do not look at this one — it will ruin Johnny for you for years to come …
Nicole Kidman
Pop over and visit Planet Hiltron on Facebook to check out some more of these awful but really funny images.
Posted by reluctantmom on May 29, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/29/since-we-lost-pluto-we-really-need-another-planet/
So Close …. give away to two Reluctant Mom readers
I used my scientific method of pointing randomly whilst I scroll down my screen with my eyes closed, to pick the lucky recipients from the Book GiveAway Blog Post for So Close by Tertia Albertyn.
Great book, loved the read, if you would like to read by book review, please go to this link.
Results of random finger pointing at the screen goes to:
1 book I bought and read which will be sent along to
And the second is from the very generous Tertia who said she would send a book on as well, so that goes along to:
I hope you enjoy the books, and I hope you will pass it forward to another reader who will have the opportunity to smile, and cry through this book as much as I did – and I hope you will.
Please send me a note via Facebook with your postal addresses, and I can arrange to get the books sent on to you.
Posted by reluctantmom on May 28, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/28/so-close-give-away-to-two-readers/
When you use the R word ….. and people shit themselves ….
Georgia is definitely one of those children who measure outside of the curve.
She is a happy, content, very bright child, intelligent and happy in her own skin.
The issue with a child who is really and well adjusted, but does not quite align herself to the main stream school system and way of thinking is that sooner or later, she is going to start to slip behind.
She will not be able to finish the 10 questions in the 30 seconds allocated.
Not because she is stupid or slow, but just because after question three she thought she saw a unicorn walk by, so has been looking out the window wondering if the forest fairy, will see Smurfette standing there and if she will invite her to tea with a porcupine and a hedgehog.
Clearly this is far more interesting than the next 7 questions about Biff and Chip.
The result is then she is scored 3 out of 10. The first time she won’t mind, because she is not really that affected by being praised and being top of her class. But repeat the same exercise 20 times, and when the other children start to call her names because she is slow. And the teacher eventually starts to sigh in frustration, because she has to remind Georgia for the fifth time to please get her pencil out of her chair bag.
Then that becomes a problem and starts to effect Georgia’s self esteem.
This has really been a very long process with Georgia. It started when she was in Grade R, and I had her assessed with an OT and a ST.
I used both of them, as they were able to supply tools and methods of working that was a benefit to Georgia. As time has moved on, the issue regarding her ability to “stay on point” and concentrate has really become an issue.
It is not impacting her work, her self confidence and her sense of self at the moment.
She is bright, content, assured and does well scholastically.
My concern is that next year the work is going to get more, and once her concentration waivers she is going to be left behind.
I have considered changing her to a different school – maybe a Montessori, or another type of school, or looking at home schooling her (I wouldn’t do the home schooling) ….
I have been to an educational psychologist who came well recommended. She met with the two of us, then did an extensive evaluation with Georgia.
Then met with her teacher, her OT, her ST and scheduled another meeting with me.
To say this process was lengthy and thorough would not hint at it.
In the feedback session, the Educational Psychologist spent a long time explaining how Georgia’s mind worked.
How she was so pre-occupied with what was happening inside her head, and how what happened in the outside world was of such little importance to her.
The key was she is bright, happy, content and quite at peace with where she is in the world.
I don’t think the word “Ritalin” can ever be mentioned without your breath catching in your throat, and your mind going “wait, wait, wait one darn moment!”
When the phrase ADD is bandied around, you start to wonder if you could throw up into the decorative vase, or whether it might be easier to just chew it back. (I opted for chewing it back)
The decision to medicate (or not to medicate) a happy, bright, content, clever, kind, generous, beautiful child is a difficult one.
I do not think anyone treads lightly when making this decision.
An added challenge is that the word “ritalin” is about as upsetting to most people as using the word ni.gger casually as you ask someone to “pass you the peas”. Shew, people get really riled up, and starts quoting you all sorts of shit and most of it starts with “my friend” …..
When all the highly emotional words and feelings are put aside, I need to look at what is best for Georgia.
Georgia’s brain fires off too much dopamine and norepinephrine, and the result is that the noise in her head is as loud and as distracting as the noise outside her head. (If anyone understands that, it is me)
Which makes it really difficult for her to differentiate between the two.
I think it is easier for me to understand that the issue here is a chemical imbalance, or a chemical under or over supply.
Instead of giving her organic rasberries and singing kumba-ja-ma-lord around a camp fire, and monitoring her sugar intake, I have opted to go with the more direct route.
I want to give her the thing that will help her brain to release/absorb the right chemicals in the right quantities. I do not want to change her.
I do not want her to not be distracted by rainbows and unicorns. I do want her, when she needs to, to be able to concentrate and be able to apply her mind …. and when she is done, then she can go and play in the land where everyone is blue and three apples high!
We plan to do a 6 month trial, she will be monitored by my Psychiatrist who I have been with for years, and who I think is brilliant – this will be done in conjunction with the educational psychologist, her teacher, us as her parents and her OT teacher.
Not an easy decision to make. I have opted for the Concerta instead of the Ritalin.
Posted by reluctantmom on May 27, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/27/when-you-use-the-r-word-and-people-shit-themselves/
Only Gay On The Beach ….. Towel
Which is really only funny if you say it in the same voice as the Little Britain’s committed ‘homosexualist’ Daffyd who regularly announces: “I’m the only gay in the village.”
If you are, or would like to be, or if you really like beach towels — then here is the perfect beach towel for you.
It has also been reduced in price, so that is a win all around.
The part I like the most is there is a button “Ask a question about this product” — I do think that some of the questions will be interesting anecdotal reading.
Make a seaside statement with this eye-catching rainbow beach towel. Bright, bold and 100% cotton, let the world know exactly who you are!
……………………..
{Thanks to Kennith Barlow for telling me about this one Yes, I have also wondered what he was searching for which made him end up on this product.}
Posted by reluctantmom on May 25, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/25/only-gay-on-the-beach-towel/
The pitter patter of little black feet ……
Connor asked me yesterday if I am ever just sad. Sad for no reason. Just sad!
I told him I was, and it is okay to be sad, you do not have to be “happy” all the time, because people tell you to be.
He started telling me that he has felt really sad for the last two or three weeks. He says he sits in class and it feels like a dark cloud comes over him, and he is just sad.
He doesn’t know why he is sad. He doesn’t know how not to be sad.
He asked me what I do when I feel sad.
I said I tend to want to find time and places where I can just be alone, and have a bit of time and space to work through how I feel.
Sometimes it helps to do something you enjoy, even if you are not in the mood, because sometimes whilst doing what you enjoy, you start to smile, and then the cloud breaks and you get a glimmer of “feeling okay” ….
Connor has always been an old soul. He feels too much, he values how you feel too much in his day.
I worry for Connor.
I worry there is a black dog sniffing around his door.
Posted by reluctantmom on May 24, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/24/the-pitter-patter-of-little-black-feet/
Fuck, I’m going to miss you.
Posted by reluctantmom on May 24, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/24/fuck-im-going-to-miss-you/
The reason Reluctant Mom Blog has no commercial longevity …
Partly because I am super kak with administration around my blog.
I love blogging, but I blog when I feel like it — sometimes it is twice a day, some times it will take me two weeks to write a post. I do it when I feel like it.
I did a Disney Hamper Giveaway recently.
Today I realised that I sort of dropped the ball on the key thing — the giveaway part. It all ran well until the part where I had to pick someone. And remember to tell them. Right then, that needs to be actioned. Immediately.
I know it is really cute to print names out and have your children pick them out of a hat or Tupperware b0wl – also great for Instagram pictures, and makes it look all organised and cute and stuff.
Winner idea, but sadly I just am not arsed that organised.
I went with the other way.
Put your right hand on your scroll button, put your pointing finger of your left hand on the screen, close your eyes, and then scroll, stop and open your eyes and see who you chose. Totally random.
If you scroll like a lunatic, then you may need to repeat the exercise three times to actually land on someone, as opposed to dead area on your screen – scroll down long enough and it just turns into nothingness.
It is not scientific. But there we go (the photo is clearly taken after the fact – and for dramatic demonstration purposes – and a reminder that I need to think about getting botox on my fingers …. do they do that?)
Tracy Blues, please message me on Facebook with your details, and I will ask the people over at Disney PR to get cracking and get your pirate stuff off to you PRONTO.
Next, I need to pick two recipients for the “So Close” by Tertia Albertyn book — sorry, that was meant to be sorted ages ago, but then it wasn’t.
So, that will be sorted this week.
Posted by reluctantmom on May 23, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/23/the-reason-reluctant-mom-blog-has-no-commercial-longetivity/
The one where I stole shampoo … and then gave you some ….
{this is partly a sponsored post ….. just product sponsored not curb my words sponsored}
Georgia’s friend Cara stayed over at our home a few weekends back.
Karen, Cara’s mom, always sends Cara with enough food, support supplies and pretty much anything you can think of. I think the idea is that if we decide to keep Cara, her mom has sent enough stuff with for us to look after her for at least 10 – 12 years before we would need to leave the house and buy her anything. Nice mom that Karen is!!
Cara arrived with a bottle of Organics Shampoo. I noticed the bottle in the bathroom, because I could smell it.
Good smells in our bathroom are the exception.
Between what ever gets dropped into the toilet and my dog who believes pee’ing against the side of the toilet will endear himself to me, the fragrance of nice smelling shampoo was pretty heady stuff.
Cara left the shampoo behind by accident, and when it came to hair wash night (for the kids) I wondered if she would mind if I used a bit for the girls’ hair. Oh my goody-ness what divine shampoo it turned out to be.
I really cannot recall if I returned the now used bottle the next time Cara stayed over, or continued to use it all and not say anything. There is a fairly good chance I might have quietly kept it and used it and never said anything to Karen …. sorry about that.
I really love the Organics range, it smells good. I used to use the Organics shampoo range for my kids – the stuff in the large green bottles, and was always happy with that range, but these bottles and products are nice for the girls, Connor is a bit too old for this.
I love the packaging – its fun – and I like it when monkey’s eyes do not go in the same direction.
I recently bought the Organics Kids Funtagly Detangling Spray to use on the girls hair, as brushing, screaming and crying has been synonymous with our mornings and on nights when we wash hair.
My girls have really long hair — Georgia’s is way past her bum, and Isabelle’s is almost at the end of her back — so we are a hair-in-multitude family.
I can’t say in all honesty if it works. The girls like it. There seems to be less screaming and crying when I spray it on their hair whilst combing, but it may be a placebo effect as it smells so damn good.
To take the above photograph I had to go and hunt for where Georgia put the spray, as she swiped it off my desk long ago and has been using it in the mornings, so this week has definitely been less tearful.
I don’t feel it is overpriced – there are some great kids products, but then I stand there wondering if I should buy the product or pay a bond installment that month. These products are in the R39.99 range, from what I remember and I would think a bottle will survive a month with my three.
I like the Coconutty smell the most, but have bought the Strawbelicious for the girls.
The detangling spray is fruity – I just sprayed it on my hair. I have no idea what it is supposed to smell like, it just smells good — I can still smell it on my hair, when I push my hair against my nose.
So there is my punt for a product range that I really like.
The friendly nice people at Organics’ PR company sent me a hamper with: Coconutty 2 in 1 Shampoo and Conditioner, Strawbelicious 2 in 1 Shampoo and Conditioner, Mangomania Shampoo and Conditions, and Funtagly Detangling Spray for me to try out.
Thanks very much, already using them, always nice to have some more.
Would you like the same hamper I have received?
Leave a comment on this blog post, before close of day on Tuesday, 28 May 2013. I will pick a winner comment, and then you will receive a hamper.
Really simple easy. No pain. No clandescent liking and reposting needed – just leave a comment. Here. Now. That is all.
What do you need to leave as a comment? Your worst knock-knock joke of course. For no other reason than we all have a really corny knock knock joke on hand when our kids ask us to tell them a joke. Here’s mine:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!
Posted by reluctantmom on May 22, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/the-one-where-i-stole-shampoo-and-then-gave-you-some/
Insomnia and I are long time friends ….
Insomnia was one of the “things” I picked up during the Great Depression of 2011.
I have always been a bit of an iffy sleeper. I go to sleep easily, but I wake up 4 hours later with my brain in a whirl whilst I work through every possible permutation of everything I said, did and nearly did in the day.
Each outcome will have a new set of possibles and then I have to work through them.
Anxiety and stress is really an exhausting friend to keep. Demanding, needy, and never looks out for your best interest. She is not a friend you want to get to close to, and you really do not want her stupid status updates at 23h00, 24h00, 01h00 and 02h00.
Unfortunately it is one of those thing where the more anxious and stressed you get, the less you sleep. The more tired you are, the more anxious and stressed you get, so you are exhausted and your nerves get more frayed and you desperately need to sleep.
But you are too stressed and anxious to sleep, so your brain does not get quiet and there you are staring at the ceiling wondering if you could turn the television on, and put the sound low enough so your partner does not wake.
I have a script from my guy-in-a-white-coat that gives me a small white pill of “instant sleep.”
I am fairly sure that Sleeping Beauty took an Ivedal which may explain why she fell instantly asleep. Possibly it was in the drinking water hence the entire castle following suit.
The downside is I get a bit of amnesia before I fall asleep, so sometimes do and say things I have zero recollection of the following day.
The upside is I sleep like the dead, and wake up each morning feeling refreshed and alert, and never lie awake trying to stop myself thinking about the blinking light on my desk, even when my eyes are closed. Sometimes I crack one eye open to see if I can catch the blinking light out. Being tired also makes me delusional. More than usual.
I forgot to renew my script yesterday.
Last night I had no white pill.
Instead I got finishing a book in the hope it would make me go to sleep.
Putting the light off and closing my eyes and thinking “go to sleep thoughts.”
I counted sheep backwards, I usually start at 1001 and work my way to 1. I never get to 1, I get bored around 950.
I think soothing thoughts, calming thoughts, I take deep breaths and try to relax.
At 1am I realised this was really not working. I put on my daggiest bathrobe, traipsed downstairs and did some work. I climbed back in to bed at about 5am, watched a bit of tv and tried to fall asleep.
The sleep fairy snuck by at about 06h50 and blew “instant sleep” in my face.
Connor had to scream “MOM, you need to get up we are going to be late!!!” After the third time, I got out of bed, bleary eyed and punch drunk.
I could easily be an extra on The Walking Dead right now!
It is 10h35 and I am going to make a cup of tea, find a warm blanket and see if I can quietly sink off into blissful sleep. I have no idea how new moms go through sleep deprivation and do not end up going insane
I have a fabulous Organics hamper to give away, but really need to be able to focus to put that together. Promise I will do it for tomorrow, as well as announce the winner to the Disney pack ….. brain she is just too exhausted right now to do much beyond breath-aim-to-the-kitchen for tea.
Posted by reluctantmom on May 21, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/21/insomnia-and-i-are-long-time-friends/
The Walking Dead …. not moms who have not had enough caffeine, but actual zombies …. of the flesh eating type
I missed episodes 1 – 4 (season one), but we had 5, 6 and 8 recorded and decided to watch them.
I realise that season three is going the rounds, so clearly I am a bit behind times.
I was somewhat disinterested, and really feel the zombie thing is just so overdone.
Really once you introduce zombies into a show, there is not much in the way of conversation from them, and thus very little dialogue other than “urgghhhh” and watching them walk around a bit like a lost extra from a “Thriller” video.
Then I watched an episode.
I think the word “episode” is a very apt term. I felt like I was having a psychological break.
You know a show has sucked you in when you sit with your blanket pulled up over your mouth and your nose, so your eyes peep over the top.
Every one knows if you watch a movie like that, then the distance to pull the blanket over your eyes is so much shorter than if you had the blanket on your lap, and your hands neatly arranged on top of them.
I screamed. I hid behind the blanket. I covered one eye. I covered both eyes.
I screamed at the television — usually things like “run, fu**cking run…. what are you waiting for?” or when they were standing at the metal roller doors of the CDC “get in, get in, why the f**k are you standing staring …. RUN RUN RUN. GET THE HELL IN!!!”
Series sucked me right in. Hook, line and furry blanket.
Series is some scary shit.
This is not a sit-and-eat popcorn casually as you watch a series rather non-nonchalantly.
Not unless you want to be picking popcorn out of your hair and off the cat – because that shit is going to be thrown around. Not thrown, as much as lobbed across the room with super human force.
Not suitable for kids to view. To be honest I do not think it is suitable for adult viewing either.
I suggest avoiding this if you are an adult with a heart conditions. Or if you are an adult with low muscle tone in your sphincter – because odds are you will have a heart attack and shit yourself before you have got 1/4 of the way through.
Other than that, go ahead and watch The Walking Dead.
Posted by reluctantmom on May 21, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/21/the-walking-dead-not-moms-who-have-not-had-enough-caffeine-but-actual-zombies/
Are you ready to have kids? Maybe not, so much.
Originally posted on UK parenting website Mamami, the 14-part test will have you holding your sides with laughter, and nodding in agreement – I amended a few and added a few points.
Read, nod, laugh then forward on to a friend who thought she would have a baby, because it looks so easy. And fun.
Test 1: Preparation
Women: To prepare for pregnancy
- Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
- Leave it there.
- After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for children
- Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
- Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
- Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.
Test 2: Knowledge
- Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.
- Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
- Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Test 3: Nights
To discover how the nights will feel:
- Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 – 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
- At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
- Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
- Set the alarm for 3am.
- As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
- Go to bed at 2.45am.
- Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
- Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
- Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
- Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.
Test 4: Dressing Small Children
- Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
- Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
- When you think you might be getting this right, buy a cat with long hair.
- Attempt to bath the cat, dry the cat, dress the cat, and do the cat’s hair with two ponytails.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.
Test 5: Cars
- Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
- Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
- Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
- Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
- Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. Remove all your good CD’s and keep only a Barney one, which you will need to play every time you get into the car. Eventually you will be sticking a coin in the CD player.
- Throw shoes/socks/underwear and McDonalds takeaway boxes around the car, and smear KFC chicken along the windows – eye height would be a good reference point.
Test 6: Going for a walk
- Wait.
- Go out the front door.
- Come back in again.
- Go out.
- Come back in again.
- Go out again.
- Walk down the front path.
- Walk back up it.
- Walk down it again.
- Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
- Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
- Retrace your steps.
- Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
- Give up and go back into the house.
- You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Test 7: Conversations with children
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.
Test 8: Grocery Shopping
- Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child – a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
- Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
- Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old
- Hollow out a melon
- Make a small hole in the side
- Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
- Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
- Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
- Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
Test 10:TV
- Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
- Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.
Test 11: Mess
- Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
- Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
- Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
- Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
- Drag randomly items from one room to another room and leave them there.
Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers
- Make a recording of someone shouting ‘Mummy’ repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
- Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Test 13: Conversations
- Start talking to an adult of your choice.
- Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Test 14: Getting ready for work
- Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
- Put on your finest work attire.
- Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
- Stir
- Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
- Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
- Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
- Do not change (you have no time).
- Go directly to work
Want to check out the original article, look here!
Posted by reluctantmom on May 20, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/are-you-ready-to-have-kids-maybe-not-so-much/
Crushing on Dexter …..
We all know I am obsessed with Dexter. Our dog.
He is named for the character Dexter Morgan, in the series “Dexter!”
I am seriously one Xanax away from starting a Dexter Blog.
I am nervous about starting one, because I think when you start writing a blog from a dog’s perspective, and whose highest point of his day is to lick his balls, and biting Annabelle’s nose.
There is a good chance that the blog is going to be a bit more labour, and a lot less love.
I purchased Dexter through Caroline van Deventer, who is a breeder and lives up country.
I had done a fair amount of research on the breed at the point of approaching a breeder, and had seen them at shows, and spoken to a few Boston Terrier people. I prefer to get my dogs via breeders, as I usually have aspirations of dog showing.
I am not knocking anyone or making judgement or suggesting you change the way you acquire a dog for your home. If you feel strongly about people getting their dogs through shelters and so on, really that is fine. My choice is just a bit different.
And here is the key. It is my choice!
I chatted telephonically and via email to Caroline, and at the end of the day I had to trust her decision.
I had just gone through a 2 – 3 month process with another breeder, that in the end resulted in me cancelling the puppy, and walking away from the arrangement, so I did start this process thinking “well, this may not go well.”
Caroline was professional thorough and like a good breeder was a good resource for advise and suggestions on Boston Terriers. Dexter was sent to us in a crate and we collected him at the airport in January 2012.
Dexter had managed to shit the crate full — like spray painted the walls in faeces. I did think this was rather fitting considering his name, and considering Dexter Morgan also started off in a cargo crate sprayed with bl0od.
I posted a picture recently and showing progress on my “dog training” with Dexter through Cape Province Dog Training.
What you can’t see is the other dogs and distractions happening off to the side.
Dexter was following a “stay-sit-stay” command, and I was showing off a bit by dropping his lead.
I am meant to step away from him, and he is meant to remain in the sitting position for a full minute, until I return to his right hand side and release him from it.
Four weeks ago, I would not have believed there was a hope in hell of this ever happening. So I can’t quite hide my excitement when “dog training” actually appeared to be working, and for a short moment in time, I realise I was in deed the pack leader.
Dexter is a fine looking lad, and even by Boston Terrier standards he is quite a hottie!
Caroline posted this picture of Dexter when he was a wee puppy —-
How freaking cute is that??
Posted by reluctantmom on May 17, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/17/crushing-on-dexter/
The joy of cousins. The wonder of Skype.
My brother and sister in law live in Glasgow, Scotland.
They have two gorgeous boys Finn and Noah.
We have been meaning to try and get them to write to each other, or something, just to reinforce the knowledge that they were cousins, and …. well, for no other reason.
Last night we set up a Skype chat. Me and my three kids on one chair all trying to peer into the laptop camera.
Jackie, and her two boys – who were jumping on her bed at the same time as chatting to us.
It was such a wonderful experience. You sort of forgot that a few thousand kilometers separated us. My kids were in varying stages of excitement and interest. While Finn was talking, we were watching Noah in the background unpacking his mom’s pyjamas, and then suddenly revealed Jackie’s underwear.
The kids chatted as if they were sitting across the table from one another.
Both sets of kids struggled a bit to always understand the accent of the other. Connor wanted to know why they spoke funny – I tried to explain to him that to them, we speak funny.
We all agreed Georgia spoke the funniest. Georgia speaks with a “I was born in Hollywood” twang, but was originally from Hamstead. No idea where that comes from.
The highlight for me was when Finn asked if Connor knew “gangam style” – to which Connor sheepishly admitted he did. Jackie then found the song on her ipad, played it and then all the kids danced to gangam style.
Connor sat this one out.
All an over feel good experience. And remembering again that Gangam Style is the international dance of friendship. And cousins.
Sometimes it is really nice to have kids.
Thanks Skype, you worked that like a boss!
Posted by reluctantmom on May 16, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/the-joy-of-cousins-the-wonder-of-skype/
More ladies with babies ….
{warning — you may see visuals of a baby being born — this may include women in distress, a flash of pubic hair, some blood and a very good chance of an umbilical cord — if you prefer not to see it, then please do not read this blog post. It is what it is, if you prefer not to look, then please don’t}
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so this gives you a gap and to see you would have to scroll, and thus will not be surprised by an image on your screen unless you choose to scroll down to view
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still a gap not to view
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I used to watch a “having a baby” show on one of the lifestyle channels. There was not much difference in each episode. Follow lady/woman/family who is pregnant. Lady tells her story. Lady has her baby.
No matter who lady was. No matter where lady was, or how lady had her baby – each and every time said baby entered the world, I would sit there blubbering like a lunatic.
At some point I had to have a serious talk with myself that really the show is pretty predictable, and I can not cry every time I see a baby born.
I cannot afford that much mascara. And sometimes I forget I have mascara and end up fetching the kids looking like a panda. But not the healthy kind.
I stumbled across this website and the images made me sigh, smile, and then sigh some more.
The website has the images of the year for babies being born/newborn, there is shortlisting, and voting.
I am not sure who won, but these are a few of my favourite outstanding moments captured by gifted photographers.
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{images have been removed – please visit http://birthphotographers.com/2012-international-association-of-professional-birth-photographers-image-of-the-year-competition/ to view them there.
Posted by reluctantmom on May 16, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/more-ladies-with-babies/
Sofia the First and sharing ….
My mothering arsenal is made up (not exclusively) of items I can bribe my kids with.
You do this, you get to watch tv or …… {insert appropriate reward}
I am sure someone did a study, and if you only mothered in a happy cheerful way, continually calling your child “kidlet” and your husband “hubbie”, then you will produce a happy centered child.
I am sure that is true.
I however am aiming for sanity, and hopefully a stable enough child who can hold his/her own as they step out into the playground/bigger world, without mommy by their side.
The Sofia the First crown and sash was going to be one of these things that either ended badly, with me tossing it out the window whilst driving 120 km on the N1 saying “There, now no one has it, and if I hear another peep out of you, the doggie is going out the window as well …. I dare you to say another word..” or the girls would understand the concept of “it is your day today” and share.
Fortunately extreme-lunatic mothering was not needed.
I explained how lucky we were to get such a lovely sash and crown, and that you could wear it and be “Princess for a Day.” Then the next day it was your sister’s turn, and then yours and so on, and so on.
I either sold it really well, or my girls were wide-eyed and delirious with the possibility of a sash and a crown, were willing to agree to just about anything.
Today Georgia has it, and she could take it to school – Isabelle will get it tomorrow.
Isabelle did hide it away last night in the hope that Georgia did not find it. Isabelle eventually decided to be the bigger three year old, and hand it over to Georgia — it was quite a solemn little ceremony actually.
So far so good.
{I still have not sat down with Connor about the record-breaking-hiding-the-evidence issue, and I need to address that and the subsequent punishment and more importantly the issue of “hiding evidence”. Kennith was away, so hopefully tonight we can have a “family meeting” and chat through that}
Posted by reluctantmom on May 15, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/15/sofia-the-first-and-sharing/
Things you never thought you would be saying to your kids …E.V.E.R.
I am trying to set up a Skype chat along with my sister in law, I could not reach her so I called my mom.
Isabelle has been all over the idea of “annie and ampa” for ages, so I figured a Skype call with a video would work as a decent substitute until I can make a plan to get out there.
Jostling for space on the couch – me screams: “Connor, get your snake off your sister’s head!!”
Hope you had a good mother’s day!
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Posted by reluctantmom on May 15, 2013
https://reluctantmom.wordpress.com/2013/05/15/things-you-never-thought-you-would-be-saying-to-your-kids-e-v-e-r/
Bling & Stuff
Moomie Forum Rocks!!
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Stock Photographs I would love to have heard the brief for …
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